I write this at the ocean’s
edge. I kidnapped my husband and we drove due east so he and I could savor sounds
and scents and his birthday gift from the sea.
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| View from the deck at Topsail Island, North Carolina |
While our oceanfront quarters
are modest, the view from our picture window is spectacular. The sounds, wave
after wave after wave, are glorious. At high tide, shorebirds are steps away.
Inside, importantly for we senior citizens, the beds are firm.
This is important. Good beds
and good sleep are essential. And thoughts of beds quickly take me to what
having quality beds can bring.
Last year, when we furnished
our new home we deliberately purchased good beds for the guest rooms. We wanted
guests to enjoy their stays. Yes, hospitality includes food and drink, but it
also includes a good night’s sleep.
The word must be out on the
beds, or on my southern-style breakfasts, or maybe on the conceit a recent
guest and I cooked up (after I lost a string of Scrabble games) that guests at
our home always win at their favorite games.
Invariably the guests win. Grits and country
sausage must be the breakfast of champions.
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| Breakfast of Champions |
Whatever the reason, we’ve
had a steady flow of guests. I hope it continues. It’s wonderful to see dear
friends and have time, over more than one meal, to get caught up and reconnect.
In a year of visitors I’ve
learned that each one brings his or her gifts. Sometimes, the gifts are
literal, like the bags of Trader Joe’s treasures one girlfriend brought. She knows
I miss not having a TJ’s within range.
Other guests bring music.
Fellow communicators bring lively discussions about our shared craft and
suggestions for the speechwriting class I am to teach in the spring. Longtime
friends bring shared relationships and common experiences. Newer friends
broaden my horizons and bring important lessons about simple pleasures.
Another visitor, from a place
with grace in its name, brings that quality every time she walks into our home.
And, when she comes with her granddaughters, they remind me you can be playful
at any age. Just ask Spike, my dragon gift from those grand children, who brings me much joy.
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| Spike, the magical dragon |
Other friends bring shared
passions, like the friend who knocked on doors with me canvassing for Sen. Kay Hagan
for the upcoming November election.
Our most recent visitor
brought her life force, ideas, even an acronym, an appropriate gift for a
former faceless DC bureaucrat. This friend, who co-founded Gross National Happiness, is the proprietor/instigator of The Happiness Paradigm. She
positively thinks we can all be happier at the same time we are more mindful
and protective of our planet.
During her visit, she spoke
about the work of academics who study positive psychology and how to be happier. That led to the
acronym gift, courtesy Martin Seligman.
The acronym, which is an abbreviation
you can pronounce, is PERMA. P is for positive emotion, E is engagement, R is relationships,
M is meaning, and A is accomplishment.
That’s sounds like a good
construct for a happy life. Yet, for me, it’s not quite the right fit. Think of
an off-the-rack dress versus one that is custom-tailored. That’s probably the
point: To get you thinking about what
works for you. Both Seligman and my friend spurred more thoughts about what makes
me happy, something I’ve been thinking about a lot since I left the full-time
workforce.
Yet, here at the ocean with
my husband, waves, spectacular clouds, and perhaps a laughing gull or two,
I forego an acronym. I left those behind when I walked out of my last
government office.
Here’s what works for me, my personal
PERMA. For this retiree, senior citizen, boomer, and whatever other labels apply,
happiness includes people and purpose, love and laughter and
like the Life is Good t-shirt I just bought at the beachwear store: Simplify.
Those five abbreviate to PPLLS, which is unpronounceable and looks like a shirt
size.
For now, PPLLS fits me to a T.
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