Afterwords

It's 3:00 a.m. Sunday. I wake up, my mind buzzing. At about 5:30, I give up, get up, and feed the dog.

I can’t sleep, but I’m not worried; I’m just relieved it’s okay if I’m not rested the day after the big event. It doesn’t matter what I look or feel like today. What mattered was yesterday. And, yesterday, I was refreshed and ready.

Whew. Someone, somewhere, somehow was looking after me.

Saturday was the big event, the thing that’s been on my mind for months now. The brand-new Democratic Women of Catawba County (DWCC) hosted a panel discussion on the “NC War on Women:  Is it real?”

I’m the group’s president. That’s what happens when you show up in a county where Democrats are the minority. You climb the ladder really quickly. But, heck, I’m retired. I have time. I have energy. And, North Carolina needs help to return to its Democratic values of building a stronger future for all of its citizens…not just a few.

Our group knows it’s high time to get women, voters who outnumber men, involved. We decide to put on a panel discussion to help raise awareness of what’s going on in the Tar Heel state. It really does seem as if the Republican-controlled legislature is waging a war on women.

After weeks of planning, seeking speakers, finding a venue, putting together promotional materials, reaching out to news media, and more, the big day arrives.

More importantly, our DWCC members arrive. On time. Ready and willing to work. As someone who is always flustered when I’m in charge, they appear to be life-sized, live-action blue-security blankets.

With the room set up, all we need is an audience – which arrives early (that’s one way to tell we’re not in Washington, DC, where no one arrives early) – and the three guest speakers, who are all from out of town.

Tate MacQueen, 10th District congressional candidate

Fortunately, our moderator, Rev. Toni Woods, is local, capable, and calming.

One speaker, Tricia Cotham, is a state representative and this summer’s general assembly “short” session had dragged weeks longer than expected. I learn late the day before the panel that she can attend.

Rep. Tricia Cotham (D-Mecklenburg)

Another panelist, Adam Linker – who is coming from Raleigh -- hadn’t responded to my phone call to confirm his attendance. Yes, he’d told me weeks ago he was coming. Calm down, Lynn, but I wanted to be sure. Turns out, he was busy walking to Washington, DC, with the mayor of Bellhaven, NC, who is protesting the closing of the only hospital in his rural county.

Linker arrives with minutes to spare.

The other panelist – my rock – is Patsy Keever, 1^st vice chair of the NC Democratic Party. She comes, as promised, with bells on. A rock star -- articulate and informed -- Keever takes the panel's title seriously; she clearly states the facts and answers the big question.

Is there a war on women?

“The answer is a resounding ‘yes,’” Keever says.

One of the points Keever makes is that if a North Carolina single mother with two dependent children makes $9,000 per year, or $173 a week, she makes too much to qualify for Medicaid.  Oh, and this state is one that refused the Medicaid expansion under the Affordable Care Act.

Turning away access to care.

What are they thinking? Who are they looking after?

Linker, a policy analyst with the NC Justice Center’s Health Access Coalition, explains that the “melee, or battle, or sustained attacks on women” are aimed at women’s ability “to work and be in the world.”  The rest of his report:  equally grim.

Rep. Cotham addresses the topic that gets so many people in this region riled up:  education. Cuts have been severe, with bigger pieces of a shrinking pie going to vouchers and charter schools.

“We just cannot have schools that are great for some,” Rep. Cotham says.

“The only way to change this is by voting … Elections have consequences.”

Boy, do they.

Keever’s button is right:  “It’s a man’s world unless women vote.”

Okay. I can retire again, this time from event planning. Time to go back to working to get out the vote. Right here, right now that seems like a great way to spend my time.

 

With Patsy Keever (left)

Note: We videotaped the meeting; right now it's being edited.

Feeling Blue

I’ve been absent from this blog for several reasons. One, we had two sets of houseguests since I last posted. Two, I injured my right shoulder over the July 4 weekend and could barely lift my right hand to the keyboard. And, three, the energy that remained between cooking and cleaning and recuperating went into political activities, including planning the panel discussion the Democratic Women of Catawba County is putting on next week (see "Exercising New Muscles," June 13, 2014).

In the midst of all this, I get a call from the Kay Hagan for Senate Campaign following up on an earlier request that I appear in a commercial for the senator on women’s issues.

Me? On TV?

Somehow my name had percolated up from the Forward North Carolina organization, which has dropped dozens of field organizers into North Carolina like so many smokejumpers over a blazing red fire.

Of course, I’d be in the commercial. We need to re-elect Sen. Hagan and it’s a big fight. (Can you say millions of dollars?)

And, yes, I will drive to Greensboro for the filming. My challenge, like it is for so many women: What to wear?  The bigger challenge:  What can I wear that will fit the campaign’s stipulations -- not too bright, not too busy or bold, and not too summery.

Damn, no short sleeves for my gimpy arm to snake into.

Off to shop and, of course, the clerk asks why I have so many restrictions on what I can buy. I explain. The schoolteacher turned salesgirl gets energized to help me dress for the candidate -- the candidate who supports teachers and public education.

We select blue blouses.

I take my purchases home. Hang them up and answer the phone. The filming is off. They need my time slot for the senator.

My feelings match the color of my brand-new tops.

Yet, I am also relieved. I wasn’t in shape for dressing up – even with a stylist to repair my hair since I would have arrived with one side of my hairdo looking better than the other.

As a longtime speechwriter, I had prepared for my 15, or 30, or even 60 seconds of fame. It was my right shoulder that hurt. I'm left-handed. I could write.

Here’s what I wanted to say to the women of North Carolina.

  Hello, my name is Lynn Dorfman. I am the mother of two daughters.

            Last year, I retired after 40 years in the full-time work force. I’ve had a lot of jobs. But, to me, being a parent is THE most important job.

            There is no greater responsibility than building a strong NEXT generation.

            Being a good parent is like good governing … providing a foundation and framework for citizens to thrive … especially our youngest and most vulnerable.

            Under our state’s Republican leadership, our children’s future is being short-changed.

            Look at the drastic cuts to public education and slashing tools that help struggling families regain their footing.

            North Carolina needs leaders like Kay Hagan.

We need leaders who support teachers and public education.  We need leaders who fight for jobs and equal pay.  And, we need leaders who want everyone to have access to healthcare.

            The stakes are high in November.

            What’s a mother to do?

            VOTE!           

  Get others to vote.  

  We must re-elect Senator Hagan.   

  For ourselves and our children.

Dependents and Independence

When I retired last year I compared jobs – the ones I’d had in offices and the ones at home. Sure, office jobs are hard. There are difficult bosses, tough assignments, long days, too little time off, and, shall we say, uneven quality in colleagues.  But, the hardest job, by far, was the one at home:  raising children.

For my retirement, our two daughters traveled to Washington, DC, to be with me for the office retirement party. After my bosses spoke it was my turn to talk. What little I remember of those emotional moments, I do recall introducing our daughters and telling my colleagues that being a parent is the most important, the most difficult, and the most rewarding job there is.

I’m happy to report that we’ve come through what at times seemed like the abyss and gotten to the rewarding part.

With Eleanor at Half Moon Bay

This Independence Day I’ve just returned from visiting our older daughter in San Francisco where she recently moved for an exciting new job. It’s great to see how independent she is.

Our other daughter is also independent. She is in graduate school in North Texas where she is working on a Ph.D. I’ve enjoyed visiting her in various college towns – including Boston, Massachusetts, and Stirling, Scotland.

When we started our parenting career, my first priority was to raise healthy children. I remember those early visits to the pediatrician and the doctor’s calming manner when she yet again assured me the baby was okay. I was thrilled that I hadn’t dropped or otherwise damaged my child.  

My next priority was happiness.  That seemed unobtainable at times, especially in middle school. My husband and I worked on that with our mishpocha, with ritual and routine, and with that not-so-secret but all-important ingredient: unconditional love.

So far, so good – mostly healthy and happy grown daughters.

With Jocelyn at Loch Ness

But, if you are blessed with regular or typical children as we were, for the parenting job – or adventure – to be truly successful, it’s essential to raise independent individuals, who can take care of themselves (okay, mostly), be good citizens, and contribute to society.

Children achieving independence, that’s an accomplishment worth celebrating.  With fireworks.

The icing on the cake is having adult children who choose to spend time with their parents. That calls for parades and fireworks.

Perhaps the sweetest time in my parenting life was last August when after the office retirement party our daughters hosted a celebration for my husband and me. They orchestrated the entire event and invited friends, colleagues, and neighbors to bid us farewell from northern Virginia and wish us success in our move to North Carolina.

That evening I felt as if I were in a Frank Capra movie. Yes, like Mr. Smith I had gone to Washington, but, in the end, it turned out to be a wonderful life.

Happy independence, dear daughters!